The pursuit of happiness


As I took myself off for a stroll last week I got to thinking about the pursuit of happiness, what employee engagement really is and whether companies are trying to be friends with everyone who works for them.

I don’t go to work to make friends. I might make friends along the way but I go to work because I enjoy what I do and I love making a difference in organisations in relation to their communication. I don’t need everyone there to like me and I shouldn’t need to like everyone there. But are we confusing liking people, friendship and engagement and jumbling it up into a big old mess?

We have four enablers of engagement to consider. Strategic narrative, engaging managers, employee voice and integrity.

So here is my thinking. If I take these four enablers and apply them to my friendships is there a correlation? Does a friendship need to know where it has come from and where it is going? Yes. Friendships are built on a variety of things but my close friends know why we are friends, what the foundations to that friendship are and see a future in it. Some friends I holiday with, spa with, get drunk with, all different relationships and all a ‘strong narrative’.

My friends are my coaches. When we are together we are focussed on each other, helping us all achieve what we want in life and also stretching each other to try new things that could be challenging. I include rock climbing, go karting and skiing as things I have only done because my friends have encouraged me.

We listen to each other and give everyone a voice. In a group of girlfriends if one is going through something we all listen, support and rally. And it was only a few weeks ago I was humbled by being part of a group of friends, with over 15 years of history, who rallied to support one going through an emotional time.

Integrity is our foundation. As friends we are built on the same values and morals. We have a ‘contract’ around the do-say gap and it is really, for me, what friendships are built on.

So with this match up to four enablers I realised that:

1. I’m not friends with everyone. I choose my friends based on all the above. So as a company, I don’t have to be ‘friends’ with everyone. I should choose the right people that fit the organisation and vice versa

2. If my friend upsets me. I tell them and we either work through it or we go our separate ways. This should be the same in the workplace but instead we end up doing the ‘silent veto’ being miserable and leaving a company wondering how it all went wrong

3. Not everyone has a friend for life – and that’s ok. It’s rare to stay with a company all your working career now – but moving every few years or staying a long time is. It’s not the same for everyone.

I guess what I’m thinking is that it isn’t one size fits all. As I read recently, employee engagement is not about happiness. And if you think of it like friendships, it’s clear that it is different for everyone and that you don’t have to be ‘friends’ with every organisation or indeed everyone in it.

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